“I self-published my first novel, using the magic of social media to spread the word, and watched it become an Amazon bestseller with over 130,000 Kindle downloads.
It really was a dream come true; one of the happiest things I can remember.
I now stand on stages at conferences and talk to hundreds of people about writing, getting out there and selling yourself.
People think I’m pretty confident. And I can be.
On the outside.
But I’ll let you in on a secret; I’m not as outgoing as I look.
In fact, quite a lot of the time I’d like to hide under the table with a blanket and a cup of tea. I’m an introverted extrovert, or an extroverted introvert.
Whatever I am, I ran into some trouble with my brain last year and didn’t feel right at all.
I’d been head hunted by a literary agent, and publishers were thrashing out the details of a book deal, so everything was going brilliantly on the face of it.
But all I wanted to do was hide away because it was suddenly all too much and I felt I wasn’t worth it.
I felt like a complete fraud. I’d be chatting away on social media or at a blogging conference about writing, but inside I’d be feeling sick and very panicky, and wanting to run away from it all. I was getting more and more stressed, not sleeping at night,and having to force myself to get up in the morning.
I was short-tempered and pretty horrible to deal with.
Somehow, on some level, I knew there were some bigger issues at play, and I needed to get some help.
I found something that really helped me, and I’d like to share it with you here; it’s called cognitive hypnotherapy.
Dawn Walton at Think It Change It (http://thinkitchangeit.com) worked with me to help me understand what was happening in my head. What she calls ‘The Caveman Brain’ was kicking in, and my subconscious was protecting me from something.
Dawn told me that “Cognitive hypnotherapy works with the reality in which our unconscious thoughts live, and helps us reframe and redefine the interpretations and conclusions that it reached when we were younger”.
We worked through a Skype session (and no, there’s no ticking clock or swinging watches in this sort of hypnotherapy!) and with the help of an MP3 download which I listened to at night, the issues just disappeared. It was AMAZING.
I got over my fear of public speaking and started believing in myself again.
I stopped taking one step forward and two steps back and now I’m able to move forward without self-sabotage. It feels totally freeing, and it’s been a real revelation.
I’m SO glad I faced the problem I had, and found a way to get it sorted out!”
Rachael Lucas is a mother of four, a successful novelist, a prolific Twitterererererer, and all round Good Egg.